Time Flies!! I know that phrase is such a cliche' but it is so very true. It is amazing how long it has been since they've done this.

                                                ...and this

                                              ...and even this...

Don't look at all of those wrinkles...and what's up with those tendons in my neck? I'm not sure what I'm laughing at but it sure did bring out those joy lines or whatever cutesy adjective you want to put there. :)




Just kidding, both of my girls are very affectionate. It may be hard for little Hannah to get used to all of the hugs since that is not a Chinese custom, but with God's grace I'm sure she'll grow into them.

I haven't published a post in a while because I've been processing all that God is doing in my life right now. Mother was admitted into the hospital in Feb. with exasperation of her COPD and emphysema. After a few weeks she was moved to a restorative care facility and then to our local Hospice House. She is now home (at my house). Most days she does quite well. Her pain and breathing problems are under control and she is able to get from her chair to her bed by herself on most days and that is HUGE!

Last week she had a really good week; she got dressed twice (once even by herself!) and she rode with me to pick up the girls at school. She even wanted me to take her out to eat Thursday night, something inside of me said that was probably not a good idea, but what do I know?

Then on Saturday she fell, her blood pressure shot up and her speech was slurred and incoherent. She then went to bed where she stayed until Monday afternoon with a low grade fever. Then she woke up, ate a big supper, watched TV until midnight and has been well ever since. The nurse said that she probably had another TIA or mini-stroke.

Like I said, I've been processing all of this...

I have to confess, this is not the job  I would have chosen; after all, I am qualified to teach a pilates or yoga class with a friend at the homeless shelter and I could help another friend with her parenting class at the same shelter, but that's not what God wants me to do. He told me this (not in an audible voice, but he placed on my heart): Sissy, the things I want you to do now the world may not see (the bathing, the feeding, the middle of the night trips to help her to the bathroom, the breathing treatments, the medication, the teeth brushing, etc.), but you must trust me and know that I will equip you and give you the strength to do it all. I will guide you, and if you come into great need by following my command, I will see to it that you lose nothing by your obedience. You will be tried and tested, but in the hour of your utmost need I will see you and provide for you.

In my bible study a few weeks ago, Beth Moore talked about submitting to God's will. I knew that I needed to humble myself and bow down to His will; but often my pride will prevent me from bowing. The tree that stands tall and straight will not last as long in a wind storm as one that is able to bend, or bow.  

I have learned to ask each morning, "What do you want from me today, Lord?"
Once I learned that, the grumbling went away. It's as if the sun (Son?) came out from behind the clouds and I found myself thanking my creator for this very special job He has given me. It's not glamorous, you won't see my name in the paper, but I am honored that the Lord of the universe thinks that I am worthy enough to take care of my Mother. There will be a day when she is not here and I am going to be so thankful that I had this time to spend with her and to model to my children how to honor your parents. And by the looks of those wrinkles in the photo above they may have to be caring for me sometime soon!  :)

I know that this is all true because He has done it all before. He is the same God who provided a way for Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Josheph and all of His children along the way. I can't help but wonder how this will all play out when Hannah gets here. I think it will be a blessing for her to live in a home with another generation here as well. I think he will do big things with this situation...

TYL,

sissy

We were so excited to get our Letter Seeking Confirmation last week. It only took 7 weeks instead of the 2-3 months that we were prepared for. The time is drawing near for us to bring home our little Hannah-baby. God is good!

Still on the subject of God is good, but in a different light, Mother is in the end stages of her lung disease. The nurse was asking if she had a living will or a DNR (do not recucitate), which she does, but it still kind of slaps you in the face when you think that it may be needed. My prayer is that she will be relieved of any unnecessary pain and suffering.

Still holding on to one hand and reaching for the other....

What's Your Favorite Sound?

I just opened the window and was greeted by one of my favorite sounds, the birds busy doing all the things they were created to do...claiming territory, searching for nesting sites, looking for food... and a MATE! (My favorite sound here is the birds singing part not the looking for a MATE part.) It is one of my favorite sounds. I wish I had a speaker to broadcast those beautiful sounds all over the house.

There are others too - the sound of waves crashing on the shore. Isn't it amazing that God tells each one of those waves exactly where it is to stop on the shore, exactly how much salty water is to sink into the sand and how much is to rush back from the shore? As I ponder these things I am acutely aware that if He can orchestrate these things, He can also make sense out of my struggles. And not only make sense out of them, but work them together for good for those who love Him. I am so very thankful...

But I have to say, my most favorite sounds of all time was the very first sound my children made when they came into this world, you probably remember the sound your children made as well.

Sarah was a premie, so she was a little quiet at first, but then came that beautiful cry of hunger all the way from the tips of her toes (which was a long way, for a premie that only weighed 5 pounds) and I'll never forget it, it was music to my ears. I still hear that cry of hunger when she goes through her growth spurts, but it doesn't sound quite the same. Someone told me that she would sleep until her due date... and she did...and then she woke up!   Loudly!! Being born early didn't affect her lungs at all. She made sure the world knew she was here.

Madeline, on the other hand, was content to not do all that birthing stuff, it's kinda gross, embarrassing and besides she was cozy right where she was. It was warm, she was served delicious food before she was even hungry, nobody bothered her...kind of like last week when she was sick...But with a little help from a doctor she went through (and survived) all that messy birthing stuff, was wrapped up like a burrito and placed in the bassinet beside me. A short time later I heard this sound...it was the same sound as the bluebird that all summer long would let me know that she needed more worms, but I knew that the hospital didn't allow birds in the room and then I realized that it was Madeline...what a precious sound!!!

God has blessed me with another favorite sound today. I received a video of our little Hannah playing outside, jumping rope with her friends. She trips on the rope and yells, "Ta-Tee-Da!" and then cracks up laughing. It is a beautiful sound that I will never forget. We are all looking forward to hearing her laughter, her spoken voice and even her cries. I can't wait to comfort her with the words, "Jesus loves you". It may take a while for her to comprehend those words, but there is no doubt in my mind that one day she will and that will also create a beautiful sound

TTFN....

About Hannah...

Our little Hannah is 11 years old and lives in a social welfare institute in southern China. She has been there since she was two weeks old. As far as Chinese orphanages go, this is a nicer one. There is a group of Americans that have adopted children from there over the years and they raise money to hire "aunties" to help take care of the children. They are trained to help stimulate and nurture the children, especially the babies. In Nov. a group of these families went over for a reunion and someone took lots of pictures and wrote about the trip in a blog,zhangjiang2010.word press.com. I am truly blessed to see so many photos of our little girl,I can't post them yet, but as soon as I can, I will. Our big chunk of paperwork is already in China and we are waiting to (joyfully) jump through a few more hoops before we travel, hopefully late May or June.

Meanwhile, life on the home front is, as I sometimes say, "In the blender". Mother has been in the hospital now for over a week with little improvement, although today I think she is turning the corner. Please pray for her, and for my sister and I as we travel this journey together. We know that God is in total control, and that He works all things together for good for those who love Him. I feel stronger today as I remember those words.

I love the life that God has given me and I love watching Him work in and through lives around me.

In Christ,
Sissy

                                 Red Box?


     Maybe you're wondering about the title of this blog; One More Red Box (or not). But if you are, here goes...

     My mother -in-law's birthday is in early December and every year two of her daughters come from out of town to visit. Several days are filled with shopping, eating, laughing and attending whatever recitals or programs the children may have going on. One year my father-in-law decided that along with his wife, his daughters should also get gifts. While he was carefully choosing just the right gift for his wife of 50+ years at the jewelry store, he also chose special gifts for his daughters.The store wraps the gifts in beautiful red boxes and when you see the box, you know just where it came from. It was a total surprise and the girls were ecstatic. Since we live in the same town and I am often around, I suppose he felt a little guilty that they were all opening these gifts and I didn't have one, I promise there were no guilt producing words or actions from me! After all, they were his daughters and he can buy them gifts whenever he wants to, right? Well the next year, I was added to the "red box" list. After that, my daughters were added, after that other granddaughters were added and now the list even includes great-grandaughters. The poor man has to begin his red-box shopping right after Christmas to buy all the gifts for the following year, as we say in the south, "Bless his heart"  ;) Though each gift is similar, one year it's a necklace, one year it's earrings, etc. they all are carefully chosen and reflect the style and personality of each recipient.

     It doesn't end there, one year, he decided to buy each one of us a pair of socks and attach them to the box. Again, each pair is chosen specifically for each recipient. How cool is that!!!

     It is so encouraging that he and my mother -in-law are so supportive of this adoption, (at one time they had even considered traveling to China with us!) but it caught me totally off guard when this past Christmas (2010) as we were all standing around googling over the boxes and arguing over whose is whose (it gets pretty nasty ;) ) I noticed that there was an extra box (if my tears hit the keyboard and the whole computer shorts out and I'm electrocuted and end up in the hospital, please forgive me, I'll finish later). That box is for our little Hannah, though she is not here yet, she is still very much a part of our lives and our hearts and we are about to bust while we wait for the day we can finally meet her and bring her home. So from now on, he has to buy "One More Red Box".

    {Just a note about lingo for people who haven't experienced adoption. We will refer to Hannah as our real daughter, because she IS our real daughter. We wouldn't say these are our real daughters and this is our adopted daughter, just like you wouldn't say  this one I had by c-section and this one I had...well, you know. The only difference is the mode of delivery.  Three of our children are "homegrown" and one was "Made in China" - in this case, "Made in China" is a good thing, a very good thing!}

TTFN
(Ta-Ta For Now!)

                    Put Away the Waders...

       I have worn many different shoes throughout my life. I've worn ballet slippers, pointe shoes, acrobatic shoes, even a specially made prosthetic shoe when I ripped the ligaments in my ankle ten days before a state competition;  have you ever tried to look glamorous in a 4 inch heel on one foot and a plaster cast on the other? Before you strain your brain, I'll save you the trouble; it wasn't pretty. I've worn waitress shoes (that must have been pretty special because they enabled me to fall down a flight of steps and land under a table without spilling the drinks I was so clumsily carrying).

      Aerobic instructor shoes were the coolest (Reebok Hightops, no less) circa 1986 - I completed the outfit with matching headband and wristbands - I looked really hip as I led a group of seasoned citizens through the latest rendition of Barry Manilow's "It's a Miracle" - You laugh...it was a paycheck! Several years later came the wedding slippers (but not before I wore purple stilettos on our first date, with white linen shorts a matching top and white tights...Can you believe he asked me out for date # 2??) and bedroom slippers (because they were the most comfortable while chasing toddlers). I have a pair of waders that I've only worn once (Christmas Day when I tried them on), it is a dream of mine to go flyfishing, not that I even hope to catch anything, but I think I could really "Be still and know that I am God" out there. (Not that I am God, but that He is God...ya know what I mean?) The waders are in the attic. God told me to put them away for a while.

      Right now I have on hiking boots because Paul and I and the girls are on a journey, a trip to a far away land to bring home a daughter, and yes, she is our real daughter, it's just that God let her spend the first few years of her life in China. I'm sure there is a perfectly good reason for that, one that I may not understand today or tomorrow or anytime on this side of heaven, but I know that it is all part of God's great big plan and I love watching it unfold.

     Today I have on nursing shoes. My 81 year old mother lives with us and her COPD, Asthma and Congestive Heart Failure are behaving badly. It's sort of an ironic time in my life; holding onto and trying to comfort one worn, wrinkled, tired, weak hand that is at the end of its journey while I reach so joyfully toward a young, fresh, pink (well, sort of yellow) little energetic, curious hand that is at the beginning of its journey...

I wonder what shoes I'll wear tomorrow?

(I thank Richard Smith and Lisa Mitchell for the analogy of the shoes, and for oh so much more.)

      I'm sure there is a reason God wants us to wait to have a child. Sometimes we wait months as in being pregnant and sometimes longer (as in not being pregnant when you want to be or as in adoption). I asked Him why this morning, but He hasn't gotten back to me yet. I suppose it has something to do with preparation. Those of you who have "type A" personalities can probably be prepared very quickly, but some of us take a little longer. Either way, it doesn't take that long to get a room ready, buy the clothes and gather all of the necessary paraphernalia for bringing home a new member of the family. As a matter of fact, it is probably not at all about us getting things ready, but about Him getting us ready. By us I mean our hearts, minds and spirits for the journey that awaits us.
     The early months of our adoption paperwork were filled with doctors' appointments, notary appointments, fingerprint appointments (multiple ones, because my 81 year old mother lives with us and 81 year old fingerprints don't "take") and endless phone calls, reading lists and trips to the FedEx office. Then came the excitement of referral and finally seeing the precious face and knowing the name of our new daughter. I told my God that I would wait patiently as long as it takes, but please let me see her face soon! Did I really use the phrase "as long as it takes"? Now that the paperwork trail is over all we have to do is wait...and wait...and wait. I think this is where God is trying to prepare my "soil".